Coping strategies employed by men with delayed ejaculation

There are a variety of strategies used by men to overcome the effects of delayed ejaculation; not all of these coping strategies are necessarily going to be very helpful…..

1 Seek out a new or younger partner

The classic effect of delayed ejaculation on the male in crisis is to make him seek out more sexual stimulation in the hope of getting his erection back. Many men claim to love their partner but want to find out if a different, often a younger, woman will be helpful in getting them aroused enough to ejaculate again. This is an extreme measure, but it’s understandable. However before you try this, you may want to consider the effect of your actions on your existing relationship.

2 Use Viagra

Viagra can be very helpful in overcoming the effects of delayed ejaculation, if it is caused by psychological issues which can be resolved or assisted by a confidence boosting erection, produced chemically by Viagra. Men who experience delayed ejaculation as a consequence of emotional trauma or stress, and for whom this has become an ingrained response to sexual stimuli, may chooseto use Viagra as a quick remedy to get their confidence back. A man who has a physical based problem with his erections may choose to use Viagra to regain erectile capacity. 

3 New sexual kinks

This might include unusual sexual activities – that is to say, unusual in the sense that they are new novel for the man concerned. So he might start to use porn, talk dirty during sex, want to tie his partner up or engage in mild S&M fantasies, or some other such things……it seems this is all about trying to get more sexual stimulation to become more aroused and so overcome delayed ejaculation. But such things are not the answer, because the depersonalising effects of porn, say, doesn’t help overcome the interpersonal issues asscoiated with delayed ejaculation and indeed may even take a man further away from his awareness of his level of arousal. What is needed is more renewed contact with oneself, not less, to start the process of discovering how to overcome the delays in reaching the point of ejaculation. 

4 Avoid sex altogether

If you want to avoid delayed ejaculation, one way is to avoid sex altogether, and some men do indeed try this, but a relationship without sex can be boring for many men. Besides which, men are probably not willing – let alone designed – to go without sex, and avoiding sex is tantamount to avoiding the real issue. Sex is an essential part of who we are as men. Ask yourself if you will feel complete with no sex life? There are of course also potential effects on your relationship if you allow delayed ejaculation to shut off your sex life.

So if you, like many men, have delayed ejaculation problems, you need to solve them, because trying to make love to your partner and finding that you cannot reach orgasm may be a blow to both your self-esteem and her self-respect. The effects of delayed ejaculation on your self-esteem and your relationship can be devastating! Changing a partner – as we mentioned above – or trying a new one – is not a great way forward! If your relationship has real problems, then the answer may be to go for couples’ counselling, rather than try a new partner.

Bear in mind that delayed ejaculation is sometimes indicative of problems within the relationship. In most cases, though, a woman is as distressed by delayed ejaculation as her partner. This means that if you don’t get to the point of ejaculation, then you will most likely have a basic relationship problem. If you don’t attend to this, you will neither help the relationship to recover nor restore your self-esteem and that of your partner.

And a woman is usually not going to be content with this situation! She may be telling you that everything is “alright, really”, but the truth is rather different. 

Treat your delayed ejaculation now, because it really is necessary!

Delayed ejaculation is best defined as follows: you can’t get aroused enough to reach orgasm through intercourse. You may wonder if this is really important. It is! You must treat your delayed ejaculation if you want your partner  to be happy. If you’re not enjoying sex, what’s the point of the relationship? If you both are indifferent to delayed ejaculation, and you have no sex life, or one that accommodates delayed ejaculation, then fair enough. For  other couples, delayed ejaculation may make the man feel impotent and emasculated, and lower the woman’s self-esteem.